Commercial Breaks: The Three Minutes That Were Actually Everything

I wrote a song about commercial breaks and I need you to understand that it is completely sincere.

The show pauses and the living room erupts. Someone sprints to the kitchen. Someone goes for the remote. Dad makes a joke. Mom yells “sit down” from somewhere and nobody sits down. The popcorn bowl makes a full lap. A sibling steals your couch spot. Someone threatens to change the channel and everyone loses their mind.

“Someone yells ‘Don’t change the channel!’ like they care.” That line is every family in America between 1988 and 2002 and I know you recognize it.

The bridge is where the humor turns tender: “Now it’s all DVRs and skipping through the noise, no more little moments, no more tiny joys.” We optimize the viewing experience now. And in doing that we also skipped three minutes of completely unplanned family togetherness that happened every fifteen minutes whether you wanted it or not.

I didn’t expect to have feelings about commercials. Here we are.

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